Joe Biden Caught 'Staring Into Space' Looking Hopelessly Disoriented

In the wake of the second press conference in five weeks during which President Joe Biden was temporarily unable to speak, Republicans caut...

In the wake of the second press conference in five weeks during which President Joe Biden was temporarily unable to speak, Republicans cautioned Americans on Thursday to avert their gaze from the President, lest they too should suffer a similar fate. 

"Good people, do not fix your eyes upon the President's countenance, or you may find yourselves struck mute, not for a mere 30 seconds, but for all eternity," warned Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel. She explained that those present at an event where the President experienced a freeze at the United Nations were now ensnared in a never-ending catatonic state. Many reporters still held their microphones and voice recorders aloft, awaiting responses they would never receive.

"Please, we implore you, regardless of the allure of viral videos, images, or news reports, resist the temptation to gaze into Mr. Biden's icy, unfeeling eyes, for their immobilizing effect could afflict you, leaving you forever trapped at a single moment in time and space. Avert your eyes, avert your eyes!" Biden was asked a follow-up question, but a look of sheer terror crossed his face and remained frozen there as he stood immobile and silent behind his podium, a tableau that continued at the time of this press release.